Lone Star

Lone Star completely rocked the Scera Shell Friday night. Michael and Leslie went to see them perform in front of a massive crowd and were not disappointed. All of their hits plus some future recordings that will be available in March 2010. With an encore that completey rocked Orem Utah they melted from Led Zepplin and back with too many rock songs in the melody to count.

A Fantastc night!

Big Bad Voodoo Day

Leslie and Mike took off Monday night to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy live at the Scera in Orem. It was a wonderful event and a great tribute to Cab Calloway. Upbeat swing music kept the crowd hopping, with several young couples dancing and jiving to the music.

Our Skipper

This guy was incredible. Eyes closed, with no hands, but we placed our trust in higher (Oh that's not a good choice of words), shall we say in more theological hands.

Speedboat was a piece of cake. I guess the fish cop down there took the guys aside and said I could not operate fast equipment on the water. At least I wasn't three sheets to the wind like our skipper.

Well they let me have a drive turn at the wheel of the big house.

Slide on the Poop Deck

I have never gone down feet first on a slide, at least not on purpose. Nick gave me some pointers and then off I went. Nick soon learned that pushing a "lone wolf" like me leads to some serious clean up after the slide. He need to talk to Ben.

Down the aft deck slide to the water. NO, I wasn't scared my eyes always look like that.

This is called a penquin plop. Like to see a human try that feet first.
Ha!

There goes my freaking eye!

Holy crap at least she didn't come flying in with some kung-fu elbow.

I look pretty good in trunks.

On the last day the gang headed out and left me to babysit.

I put the little hummer to sleep and dozed off myself. I slept with my eyes open because the little one in pink pants was still around. Better safe than sorry. What's with little girls in pink pants. They seem be evil!

LAKE POWELL

I tried my hand at the kayak, but it is primitive compared to regular swimming. Why I remember Donovan Kolowski could rip around the ice like it was nothing. He and 47 other guys would wait until those strange humans would come out with their cameras and then swim back and forth to make the statisticians think our populations doubled. Those over-educated morons brought more food than we knew what to do with.

LAKE POWELL

This trip was noting short of action packed! Nick's wife insisted I wear swimming trunks. That was embarassing. But here I am with a couple of cold ones, and Nick. He claimed the Mt Dew was his but I took it anyway.

Yackity Lake Powell

The feathery monster has been gone from the house for over two weeks. I hope he remembered his sun screen and unfortunately he forgot his swimming trunks. Indecent exposure!

4th of July 2009

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, That they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new Government, laying its Foundations on such Principles and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to Them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Time Alone

Time alone is a wonderful thing.

Bedtime

At 10:00 pm I managed to get to the bathroom vanity. I brushed my mouth and tongue with a healthy dose of Crest and headed off to bed.

I used Mike's brush but he never notices, too busy I guess.

Maybe next week he'll realize the toilet is unusually clean.

The pink brush is mine.

He is such a sapp.

Michael encouraged his grand kids to pummel me.

For what felt like hours these underfeed beasts were released from parental control and I took the brunt of total insanity. Here the youngest "girl" is placing a throw rug from the piano bench across my beak and mouth. I couldn't breath or yell for help. Nothing!

I finally ripped my limp carcass from their evil ways about 9:00 pm.

The one in pink pants kept getting a run across the room, leaping in a Ninja death kick and would land deep into my innocent torso.

No gas or internal organs left to empty they left.

One Little Mistake . . . I was hungry!

One small mistake. Crap, I was trapped in that storage room with no lights for days. I thought I was going to freaking die!

So I helped myself to a few cans of Tuna, cheap tuna at that.
Thank goodness Leslie has a heart of gold and helped me into an easy chair, placing a cold towel upon my exhausted soul.

Missing in Action Since Last Week

The Penquin monster had been missing for a few days again. I am used to it , but this time he has broken the limits. After passing the food storage room, I noticed it was smelling like a bilge. I went to investigate and found the top off the salt water tank for the water softener and it was nearly drained then I found his feathery butt digging through the food storage. There must have been thirty open cans of Tuna and two jars of peanut butter on the floor.

I snapped him with arms full as he was climbing down from the rack.

The Adaptations of a Free Range Penguin

Although we are birds, we cannot fly. Another myth that is waiting to be debunked.
Eddie Shackleton can spin circles around the best gulls. But I do have to admit that after living near a continent that is 98% covered with ice, filled with the same types of idiots you folks have in Washington D.C., I just had to find bare land with small rocks to build a new nest. Supposedly Penguins flourish in a harsh environment so this desert stuff of Utah should be a piece of cake.
The scientists consider us remarkable creatures, and believe we “evolved” with many adaptations which make us masters of our environments. Newsflash . . . I was born this way. Over educated idiots.

Off to the Doctor

Hey. This is Michael. After 24 hours of moaning and whimpering about a fatal condition I placed him safely in the back seat and headed to the doctor. He didn’t know the doctor was a vet until we got there and he saw a dog, and a schizophrenic cat.

All is clear. As I expected, but at least I will get some rest now not having to wait on him hand and foot.

Hypocon

I snapped this shot of Yakity on the way back from the Vet. Yes that's a pout on his beak.

Trichomoniasis as a factor in mourning dove population.

Trichomoniasis as a factor in mourning dove population decline in Fillmore, Utah.

So the experts say it is no a problem in Utah but I feel really sick. I'll bet they haven't done any research on the effects of

Trichomoniasis as a factor in Free Range Penquin's in Utah !!!!!

I'm not sounding any alarms here, but I would warn folks not to run off with just any dove you meet under a feeder. My eyes! My Eyes! I think things are getting dimmer.

Tell mom I was a good boy and that rumor about the wild turkey up Hobble Creek is a lie.

I'm too tired to finish this, maybe another day of rest will help. Has anyone got some Visine!

I think I'm gonna hurl carp chunks. I hate Utah lake.

Reagan Clark Arrow of Light

Reagan shows Leslie and Mike his “Arrow of Light” progress beads. He is doing fantastic! The Arrow of Light is the highest award in Cub Scouting and he is well on his way to earning the award. Reagan is such a great guy. He is a class act all the way and is always calm and collected. Keep up the great work!

The display of arrows shows each boy as he climbs higher toward the "Arrow of Light".

Heading home from Provo.

We were busting a P/T land speed record of maybe 65 when Mike began yelling at me. He said I was ticking off the drivers who were performing a Joey Chitwood weave around him at 75 and 80 miles per hour. He said that I was giving them dirty looks out the back window. Like, maybe my eyes being pulled deep into their sockets’ in a paralyzed scream of fear, was the reason they were upset. He ought to be grateful that after Ben stored me on his knee for three minutes, I was empty. The back of his bald bean was an easy target. Maybe he should realize that just because the signs say Maximum 65 MPH, going faster with the crowd would make a world of freaking smiles. So what if you get a ticket! Just a few moments in a Utah traffic school and all is forgiven. Easier than a Catholic confession.

Thank goodness I am writing this because my voice is gone after releasing blood-curdling screams as he dodged mini vans whipping out from the Wal-Mart exit at Mach 2. From here on, I drive. Penguins' may not have good peripheral vision, but at least they have an excuse. I may not eat for a week.

No stopping Ben as he and his son Dillion won the non-Cub Scout participant awards. I thought I was excited, but he stole the show with laughs and giggles. He is such a great father. He still hasn't noticed his right pant leg in this photo, soooo maybe I am off the hook. Just needed to place a baby on his knee with those cheap Kmart diapers and I am totally in the clear. "Kmart Fall Apart." Yeah I watch movies too.

First Cub Scout Meeting

This was a blast! Mike's son-in-law Ben held me up and they let me start one of the races. The cars really zoomed down the track. I am sure that it was a nice thing that Ben held me up like that, but I hope he learns that you cannot, under any circumstance, set an excited bird on your knee. Once at Christmas I sat on Santa's lap. Man was that a fiasco. Learned a bunch I should forget, but alas. Anyway the racers all had a great time and I had to explain to seven different women that I was seeing someone else at the time.

To Provo here we Come!

My feathers were standing on end as we headed to Provo. It is a great treat to ride in the car without being the one who has to drive all the time. Mike says that my driving is wonderful. He also made some under the breath comment about having the chauffer suit already and it made them look rich.

Chaaa Freak! Like riding in the back seat of a P/T Cruiser is a sign of wealth.
Then Mike told me how when he was a kid he would always ride in the back window looking out at the trees and the other cars. Sounded fun to me, but when he slammed the lid shut and smashed my beak against the glass, the story changed. The joke is on him as I blew snot all over the glass. Sore bum or not pal you are going to clean that mess up by your own self. I am gone for the next day or two with a Turtledove I met in his back lawn. Love at first site under the feeder.

Memorial Day 2009 Scera Shell

In the evening Leslie and I went into Orem to the Scera Shell Outdoor Theater to see a tribute band called “Staying Alive”. I was up for a night of pain. Tribute bands can be really cheap imitations, but this was a major exception. These guys nailed everything. They were every bit as good “live” as the recordings. Their harmonies were magnificent and the entire show was wonderful. I have never been a disco fan but have to admit that after forty years of hearing the Bee Gees music it has a place in my life. This band was amazing, their falsetto vocal match along with the authentic look of Joe Varga, Todd Sharman and Tony Mattina took back memories of John Travolta, Olivia Newton John and the entire “Grease” time period. It was a wonderful night and the conclusion to a very blessed day.

Yakity was kicked back in the back yard the last time I saw him, feet up kicking back, but he is a “free range” penguin. I was told he is making a trip to Lake Powell this summer. I hope he gets some trunks first.

Nicole

Jenn

Garden Planting

With Yakityschmakity entertaining the kids, the rest of the family went to work on the garden. It seemed like a beehive of activity. People were spread out everywhere planting tomatos, corn, and green beans. Green beans are a must. Leslie was horse poop from head to toe when she finished, but she cleans up just fine. It was fun to see the daughters-in-law in action at the planting. They are such wonderful women. My sons all hit the jackpot with their eternal companion choices. In life we all grow one line at a time and learn together and sometimes alone. Like I’ll take a stab in the dark here, but I’m betting Stephanie wears something on her feet next year other than white flip-flops.
Dakota is down and out and was laying in the shade supervising the entire process. She is such a trooper with this hard pregnancy. Such a great mother. She gets that from Leslie. I was weepy all day remembering my dad. I wish I could be the great person he is.

Mike

And away we go

This was great! Madelyn was doing fine until she noticed I was headed to the canal. She jumped out, but the truck has a steering wheel. Whimp

I finished the Garden Prep.

Once the little ones had been entertained I finished the mans work. Sore bum remember.

License?

This is Utah. They hand license out like a drunk distributes candy from his trunk on Halloween. Who needs a stinking license?

Memorial Day 2009 with the Family

I entertained the kids for a long time with my mad skills behind the wheel.

Memorial Day 2009

To my father, grandfather, great grandfather, and old friends.

Today is a day we remember your service and sacrifice for our entire country.

There will be lots of written speeches and heart felt praise given across this land. Most will come from those who know what you did for us.

Dad your efforts in Europe freed millions. Grandpa I thank you for the same efforts some thirty years before.

Great grandpa. I cannot imagine the fear and terror of the civil war.

But I know you sacrificed for our family, our country and the world.

Thank you all

Love Michael

Geode Beds Map

Last minute thought. This was fun day trip and yielded some small geodes. For the real thing join a local rock hounding group.

Mike and Me

Well here we are at our first meet. Mike was so excited to meet me he had to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes for the rest of the day. Two days later I found out he has Multiple Sclerosis and it wasn't excitement that was sending him to the dunny.

But him and me, we be buds.

Alone at Last

At last I can calmly relax and let the worries of the day go by. . . Heah! Close the door you Sicko!!!

Stepping Lightly

I do my part for food.

So his bum is still hurting and I have been assigned the responsibility of the garden care. I don’t see why I should have to pay for his impact crater and accompanying moaning and whining. This picture is of me having just stepped in a pile of recycled Alpo.

I need a hat and some shade before summer hits.

Mike and Josh Pony Express Trail

Mike's Trip to the Geobeds

Yeah, Mike went and left me behind. He was worried that the desert temperature would be to much for me. So I stayed behind in the air-conditioned TV room and dropped back one of his Diet Pepsi liquid beverages. One of those was enough. Took several hits of water from the garden hose, to cleanse the pallet, and I am back to Caffeine Free Diet Cokes.

I could go on about the soaps, but the remote was hid from my grasp and I had to settle for the Communist News Network. I had the dry heaves for the better part of the hour as I watched and realized that I was a bird and by no means insane. Yes my brain is smaller than theirs, but, common sense on their part was definitely missing.

Well, after a long afternoon nap, 6 hours, I awoke in the late evening to see Mike limping in the back door. I mean he always limps with his MS, but this time he was slower than a politician trying to define sex. He claimed he had a great time but with his left leg not working so great he took a header down a rocky embankment, performed, what can only be referred to as a cheap imitation of Nadia Coma niche and planted his anal cavity down hard on a large protruding boulder, then slid face first into the adjacent rock pile.

His son claimed he looked like Mr. Potato head with his arms straight out, his feet together and his eyes about the size of headlights while spinning around. Ha Ha tee hee oh Shiz, I wish I could have been there! This is too funny. I’ll bet his chubby body didn’t even bounce. But he played the wounded hero routine and managed to save his geode stash. He was popping Ibuprofen and going on about the trip being so great for hours. Sleep came as a welcome end to the day.